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Sfanta (Holy One)

By D Lobontiu

Created by Diana Lobontiu

This solo show set in a 1680's Moldovan convent follows Teodora, who yearns to be a Saint only for the glory. Her path is barred by her betrothed Gheorghe, a romance with Iosefina, and a looming Ottoman attack.
Adult language,Sexual content,Violence
The creators say this show is appropriate for ages 12-15 and up
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Romanian Swear Words

Întinde-mi-aş chiloţii pe crucea mă-tii – I’ll hang my underwear on your mother’s cross

Fută-te-ar Sfinţii până apari în Noul Testament – I hope the Saints fuck you until you come up in the New Testament

Rahat cu ochi – Shit with eyes

Curvă – Whore

Pizda mă-tii – Your mother’s vagina (actually the c word)


Characters (played by Diana)

TEODORA MOLDOVEANU - 14. Has wanted to be a Saint since she can remember, but mostly for the fame.

SORA PAISIA - 32. Mother Superior, in charge of the convent and worried about feeding everyone.

ANDREEA POP - 15. New to the convent from Iasi, Moldova’s capital. Cool and rich.

IOSEFINA - 16. Laysister, tends the sheep. Mute.

CRISTINA MOLDOVEANU - 25. Teodora’s sister. Very pregnant.

ADRIAN MOLDOVEANU - 45. Teodora and Cristina’s father.

GHEORGHE  - 18. Vlad’s brother and Teodora’s betrothed. Quintessential 17th century fuckboy.


Origin of Sfȃnta

One year ago I went for a run, and I stopped in the middle of the road because I had a thought: what if I wrote a comedy about a girl who wants to be a Saint, not for the holiness but for the fame? I’m Romanian, what if I set this in Romania in the 17th century, a time when Saints were actual celebrities? And what if I played all the characters? And get out of the road Diana, a car is about to hit you.

One year later, I've researched and found one of the few women Russian Orthodox saints, Sfȃnta Teodora de la Sihla. The historical Teodora did live in Vărzăreşti, ran to the woods to escape an Ottoman attack on her convent, and became a saint. I wrote my version of Teodora de la Sihla, with Romanian swear words, larger than life characters, and a lot of gay shit. My Teodora is a petty brat at the beginning of the play, and it's only with the help (and criticism) of the other characters that she can stand a chance at being a Saint. 

I turned in "Sfȃnta (Holy One)" as my thesis project, performed it many times at Wellesley College, graduated, and now I'm ready to unveil Teodora's journey to the world. So here you are world, I really hope you laugh!

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